Purpose

 

I change my career three times now. Main motivation is learning something new. Real motivation is the fear of being left behind.

It takes time and effort to become a better person. Just when I was looking for a parking space close to St Lawrence Market I got a ping right on Front Street. Hungry or not, money comes first. Backseat, on the phone. Not even hello. I don’t mind. The first words I hear:

“Christine darling, you wouldn’t mind staying late tonight, do you? You’re the best. You know I can’t trust anybody else with this. Yes. Ask your husband to pick up the kids from school.”

The same old message wrapped in different words:

“You need this job because you have a family! We’re going to drain every drop of energy and time you have. And you better thank me for it!”

The more I drive around small managers busy bullying, usually over the phone, their team members or peers, the more I feel like stopping the car and tell them “Look up. There’s a big Universe out here and you’re just hurting your soul every day, again and again.” You can call it communications skill or soft skills, but is the purpose that makes the difference. If you use words to intimidate and dominate others is bullying. I should know. I did it for years.

It also took me years to fight the two traits I hated the most about myself. Those that went extinct after I changed my career the first time and moved into project management.

The first one was that I was always right. I was an arrogant prick used to win all the time, half by skill, and half by luck. I never apologized for anything. I would argue until the other one gave up probably finding no meaning in arguing with a stupid person, me that is.

The second one was about giving credit to others for their work. I didn’t even think about doing it. Everything happened because of me and that was the natural order of things.

Finding a purpose, you want to stick with, changes your actions. You assign different values to the people in your life and your place in the world. Looking back to the past me, I don’t like him very much. I like the now me more even if I have to work harder to keep him alive.

I spent a lot of my introspection time in defining my purpose as a one direction that permeates all the goals I set for myself. I spent even more time in defining the red line I would not cross. The things I won’t do. My BATNA: Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement. That moment when you decided it’s time to stand up and leave a negotiation, conversation, job, or place because there is nothing more in it for you.

It’s hard work.

So, what makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Short disclaimer: The Journal of an Uber Driver is a work of fiction.
Long disclaimer: The literary exercise to define a nowadays character for a novel led me to create these 30 blog posts. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any opinion expressed about Uber should not be interpreted as having a negative connotation. I admire the company as an incumbent of the platform economy and I am a registered Uber driver for research purposes.